It will be okay.
I've needed this phrase a good deal in the past year.
Momentary anxiety. Or not momentary. Just anxiety.
I've been in a lot of good, new, hard, really hard situations in the past year. Or at least they felt really hard.
And I needed to know.
It will be okay.
Sometimes I'd just feel it in my spirit. The Holy Spirit letting me know.
Okay. If He says it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay.
Ha. Sometimes I'll be listening to Alanis Morissette's "Hand in My Pocket" (pretty dope song) and what sticks out to me is "What it all comes down to is that everything's going to be fine fine fine."
Woohoo. Can I just say woohoo. God has used Alanis Morissette's words to remind me time after time. It's going to be fine.
When I hear it from the Spirit it's not a dismissive thing. Like, "Oh, it'll be fine. Don't worry about it."
But more like, "Dear, it'll be fine." And then I know it will be.
I'm listening to Alanis: "What it all comes down to is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet."
And it's fine.
I have a God who knows what's happening. And in the meantime want to know what my objectives are instead of worrying?
Spending time with Him.
Loving people. Loving them a ton and stopping worrying so I'm not so afraid and don't have time to pay attention to them and really be with people.
Doing what I love.
Good reminders. He's got the rest. And then I have joy. Because I'm putting my energy where it'll really count. Toward trusting God and moving forward. And loving and doing what I love. Worry sucks. Look at what's true and what you love. And do those things and trust that God will bless the rest.
One last reminder. I was looking for a job before I moved to St. Louis, and when I looked at this company's Instagram page, they were doing a staff highlight, and one of the staff member's quotes was, "too blessed to be stressed." And I wanted to meet that person. I ended up working for that company for the past two years. And I still remember that first Instagram post.
The root of what I'm saying is when worry starts to put our heads my head in a hole, it means I'm too afraid to move forward and trust that my God is bigger. He's bigger than my worry. He has opportunities on the way. I just have to move forward. He has possibilities ahead. He's got a plan. He's working on things. He's leading me. He can get my attention. I just need to get my head out of a hole and start talking to Him. Instead of worrying about what's next.
I know it's easy to say and hard to do. So I'll give the example of my Tuesday.
Tuesday I was really worried about money. A project I was working on didn't look like it was going to bring in as much as I thought. And I was worried about rent. Okay obviously, I need rent. So it's legitimate that I need it. But the level of worry was not. There was no trust involved in that at all.
So I talked to my mom. As usual. And she wasn't helpful in the way that I wanted. Which means she wasn't giving me answers.
(Sometimes you need a friend to not give you answers and force you to go to God for it. Those are the good ones.)
She kept not being helpful. Ha. And then I waited until I felt peace about something. And sat on it. And still felt peace about it.
It came when I decided that God would handle my money situation. That He can bring opportunities anytime He wants. He is the maker of good things. He has always taken care of me. And He's not going to let me down now.
I get pissed about the manna story in Exodus 16.
Probably just like the Israelites did.
Why wouldn't God give us enough for days to come? If He led us to this desert, why wouldn't He provide for us a little more long term?
Because you're on the way. There will be different provision when you arrive. He's providing along the way right now. And there is enough for each day. What else could you need?
What else I need is to trust that it will still come tomorrow. Just like He said it would. Just like He promised.
Yeah, a lump sum would be nice. But that's not what God promised. He promised that there would be enough. For each day. Enough to have me get afraid. And then see how He provides the next day.
It forces me to focus on His character.
To be afraid. Then to cry out in fear. And then rejoice.
Some might think this sounds like a sick trick.
Not a sick trick. It's to improve my character. He's about improving our character. Not just assuaging our fears. He's after more than that.
He wants us to stick with Him. And He knows we'd wander off if not.
I think if God had given the Israelites a lump sum they would have just camped there. They probably wouldn't have kept moving forward into the promised land.
That's why things are hard. (Solved it. Bingo. World problems.)
But really. Things are still hard because 1. Well, the fall of man. But regardless of that, 2. Because they still need to be. Just for a little bit. Just until He comes. And all is solved. That's when we have perfect rest. It's hard to reason out honestly- because it might seem like God is making life hard. Nope. He's not.
The fall of man made life hard. Then there was the curse of Adam, where God told Adam that he'd have to toil because of the choice. And so we're in the middle of the toiling.
But there's good news. Jesus has said there's manna. He's the manna in the desert. He's conquered the sin part. So He's with us. With the Holy Spirit's help and the authority that Jesus died for our sins so God is now pleased with us, we can make choices that undo the toil. We can choose to trust. To trust that manna is indeed coming. Everyday. Everyday until we're with Him forever and the trust isn't an issue. Because there's no fear. No pain. No toiling. Just true union with Him. True trust. No lapses. No fear of needing manna for tomorrow.
So folks, I will probably need to reread my blogpost next week as a reminder. Or maybe even tomorrow.
I'm going to need it.
God, thanks for this gorgeous opportunity that we have to live this life WITH you. I get to do life WITH YOU. What a gift. So many people feel alone in their lives so thank YOU that you are my constant Provision. That your character and your presence are my guidelines. They lead me. They give me peace. What a gift, Dad.
Dad, thanks for the command not to worry. But most of all, thanks that it's Your character that makes that command trustworthy. I trust that You'll show up everyday for me. I trust that You'll keep my eyes open to opportunities. I TRUST that YOU ARE WITH ME. You speak that it will be okay.
Thank You for Your peace, Jesus. We love being with You.